With regard to the first question, the Torah records the reason for Yaakov’s favoritism of Yosef because the Torah did not want a person to think that Yaakov loved/ favored Yosef since Yosef was the firstborn son of Rahel. Instead, 37:3 records that Yaakov loved/ favored Yosef since he was a ben zekunim.
With regard to the second question, the commentators attempt the implication of the term ben zekunim since the literal definition of the term does not seem to be applicable in this case. One example is that Bereshit Rabbah (84:8, see Rashi on 37:3) quotes Rabbi R. Yehuda who said that the phrase ben zekunim means that Yosef's features were like Yaakov, based on the similarity of the word, zekunim, with the phrase ziv ikunim, which means his features. Yet, is this a reason to love one son more than others? Also, the term ziv ikunim is Aramaic and it is odd to explain a Hebrew term based on Aramaic. Finally, it is not clear if in those days, people knew what they looked like, as at best a person was only able to see a reflection of one’s self in water or on copper. If anything, one could have suggested that Yaakov loved Yosef since Yosef looked like Rahel.
Another example is that Bereshit Rabbah (again see Rashi on 37:3) quotes R. Nehemiah that the phrase ben zekunim means a son of wisdom, based on the association of old age and wisdom, see Talmud Kiddushin 32b. Kugel (1997, p. 248, also see Radak on 37:3) quotes other commentators, including Targum Onqelos, Philo and Josephus, who follow this approach and explain that Yaakov loved Yosef because Yosef was wise. (Note this association of old age with wisdom might have been true in ancient times, when people did not live that long, but I do not think it is true today.)
Ramban (on 37:3) suggests that there was a custom that when a person was old, one son was chosen to care for the father, and this was Yosef. According to this idea, the phrase ben zekunim means the son who served his father in his old age. Luzzatto argues that this cannot be correct since 37:2 records that Yosef was a shepherd with his brothers. In addition, the Ramban’s suggestion just changes the question to why did Yaakov choose Yosef to be the sons who cared for him?
The Kli Yakar (on 37:3) suggests that the term zekunim refers to Yosef’s behavior when he was by Yaakov, that when Yosef was by his brothers he acted in an immature manner, but when he was by Yaakov, he acted in a mature manner.
Sarna (1989, p. 368) notes that from 21:2,7, 24:36 and 44:20, we see that all these explanations cannot be correct since in all the other verses the phrase means a child of one's old age.
Other commentators attempt to explain how Yosef could be considered Yaakov's child of old age instead of Binyamin, who was younger tan Yosef. Rashbam (on 37:3) suggests that Yosef was considered Yaakov's son of his old age instead of Binyamin because before Binyamin was born Yaakov had already developed his favoritism to Yosef. Hizkuni (on 37:3) writes that Yosef could not fully love Binyamin since Rahel died when Binyamin was born, so Yaakov loved Yosef more than Binyamin.
The simplest reason why Yaakov loved Yosef more than his older brothers is, as noted by the Bekhor Shor (on 37:3), that Yosef was the son of Rahel who was born to him when he was old. Yet, Yaakov did not disown his other sons, as 37:10 records that he refers to his other sons as Yosef’s brothers. Thus, we need to explain how the fact that Yosef was Rahel’s son is related to the term ben zekunim.
My thought is that we must attempt to understand the significance of a child who is born to parents who are old. If a person has a child every year from when he is twenty until he is 100, would he love the younger children more than the older children? Most likely, no. Or, if a person has no children until he is 70, and then has one child a year for 20 years, would he love the youngest child more than the oldest? Again, most likely, no. If the parent would favor one child, it would be the oldest of the twenty children since the person waited for that child for many years while the other children did not involve any unusual anticipation. The significance of the age of the parents when a child is born, is not just based on the age of the parents, but as to how long the parent waited or longed to have the child. The idea or importance of a child of one's old age is a child that a person or couple have been waiting for a long time, and they have the child when they have almost given up hope of having a child since they are getting old.
Yosef was the child that Yosef had been waiting for ever since he met Rahel. They had fallen in love either at the first chance meeting or shortly afterwards, 29:11:18. Afterwards, they had been engaged for seven years and then it took another seven years after they were married until Yosef was born. In the meantime, Yaakov had several children with Lea, Rahel’s sister, and this increased the tension of the lack of a child, as Rahel said to Yaakov, “give me sons or I will die,” 30:1. Yaakov responded in an angry manner, 30:2, which he might have regretted afterwards. Thus, the birth of Yosef not only was the child (son) that Yaakov and Rahel had been waiting years for, but might have also given Yaakov some measure of solace for his inappropriate response to Rahel’s cry for a son. Yosef was then the ben zekunim of Yaakov and maybe Rahel. On the other hand, Binyamin was not considered the ben zekunim since after Yosef’s birth, Yaakov was no longer waiting for another son from Rahel, and, as noted by Hizkuni, Binyamin’s birth was associated with Rahel’s death. (It is true that Yehuda ostensibly referred to Binyamin as the yeled zekunim, 44:20, but as we discuss on 44:18-45:3: “Almost the end of the game between Yosef and his brothers: Yehuda’s great speech,” Yehuda was really referring to Yosef and not Binyamin.)
Bibliography:
Kugel, James L. 1997, The Bible As it Was,
Cambridge, Mass: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press.
Sarna, Nahum (1923-2005), 1989, The JPS Torah Commentary: Genesis, Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society.
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